Too Hot!

Hello loyal fans. All I have to say is that it is too hot. After working all day in a room in the mid 80s I come home to an apartment which is essentially the same. To say the least, this is less than ideal…and being about as dumb as Brendan Fraser I somehow forgot to bring my fan home (again). No respite for the incompetent.

It has reached the point where I am considering sleeping on the balcony. I might just move my alarm clock out there and blow up the air mattress. There is a really nice cooling breeze out there; in my bedroom there is just no relief.

It reached a point sometime this evening where I was creating phrases to express just how hot it is:

- You know it is hot when you can fry an egg on your forehead.

- Dante must have underestimated hell…unless this is like that Beetlejuice thing.

- I feel like a hot pocket in the hands of an eight year old learning to use a microwave.

- I am like Stacie’s mom.

Obviously I am delirious…

Quote of the Day:

“It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around.” – Billy Madison

Aquarium Related News

Hello loyal fans.  The 90 gallon aquarium is now up and running!  All the equipment is installed and operational except for the lighting.  The live rock is in and looking good.  I will probably try to get a fish or two tomorrow to go in the quarantine so they can go into the display in a month or so.  Normally it would be really important to wait, but because this is basically just an expansion of my 55 gallon using rock which is already well established, things should be okay pretty quickly.  I will do the appropriate water tests as necessary beforehand.

For those interested, here is a picture:

On an unrelated note, today was the first day of school.  It was good to get back…but I had forgotten the general insanity that school is.  I am just not used to functioning all day; throw in the heat (mid 80s for the first time in weeks, and no doubt warmer in the classrooms) and it was just a pretty draining day.  Good, though…

Quote of the Day:

“If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.” – Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies (1981)

My Most Humble Apologies

Hello loyal fans.  I must apologize for the recent dearth of posting.  Life has simply gotten in the way of Batch Is The New Shit.  School preparations have been taking my mornings and my afternoons and evenings have been taken up with the aquarium stand process.  It is now done and I am prepped for the first couple of weeks of school so I should be back with a vengeance in a few days.  Look for updated posts on th aquarium, UCLA football (Stanford goes down Sept. 1st), the Chargers, and whatever else might come to mind…

Quote of the Day:

“It’s hard to be brilliant on a daily basis!” – Tam Pham

Dissatisfied With Cars…But Mostly Dodge…

Hello loyal fans. I have returned from my journey to the land known as Southern California. If any of you have read The Odyssey (you know, by that Homer guy…), that is pretty much the story of my trip. I had my brakes done in preparation for my trip as they had been squeaking a little. Everything seemed to be pretty much ok (a little pulsating…perfectly normal, at first, they claimed) until I was on the freeway headed to San Diego about a week later. When I finally made it to San Diego I decided I should really have someone look at them and, low and behold, they had machined the rotors incorrectly… New brakes (again)…FUN! Today I get to go fight with the other place to get my money back.

But…that was not all… Those of you who know me in the real world may recall that my truck had to have warranty service done on a cylinder head back in January. In early March I began to overheat so, after consulting with a mechanic who is not an idiot, we determined that I had a blown (or at least leaking) head gasket. There was some coolant in the oil and the radiator was draining but not leaking… I took the car in to the Dodge dealer who assured me all I needed was an oil change (that did not make sense) and that there was no problem with the head gasket. They then refused to do any more work on it. It took 6 months, but the thing finally blew for real on the freeway home in Torrance. For those of you not following, the problem that already existed which Dodge refused to fix has now created a much bigger problem. Luckily, I was only about five miles from a dealer so I was able to get the truck there, but they do not know when they will look at it because I did not have an appointment. They could not seem to understand why I did not schedule this head gasket failure in advance! So…I got to spend five hours sitting in the dealer’s waiting room while I tracked down a car to take back here. I still have not heard from them, and I can not get ahold of them (it has now been five days).

So, as of Friday it seemed that things could only get better…but I was wrong. I am now driving the parents “Cool Mobile”(aka the minivan) and on Friday I decided to move the Camaro out of the space at my apartment and park the van there. I went to take the Camaro to school yesterday morning and I discovered a puddle of transmission fluid underneath. Another one bites the dust. Hopefully I will have a chance to look at it today.

I am beginning to think I need to start walking places.

Quote of the Day:

“Come, for I have found the clew I sought so long,
Let us go forth refresh’d amid the day,
Cheerfully tallying life, walking the world, the real,
Nourish’d henceforth by our celestial dream.” – Walt Whitman, Proud Music of the Storm

What Is The Deal With Underwear?

Hello loyal fans.  A few days ago I was talking with a buddy of mine about some of the things in our society that seem pointless.  I think underwear is the height of that stupidty.  I mean, really, there is no practical application for underwear.  So…why does everyone insist on the importance of underwear?  And why do we strive to make it as small (in the case of women) or loose (in the case of men) as possible if we have deemed it so terribly important?

The origin of underwear is, of course, the loincloth…but the thing is, loincloths were not really underwear…they were simply clothes.  Some stodgy, Puritanical European no doubt incorporated these delightful little items into the daily requirement for a properly clothed human.  But why?  Why force this ridiculously unnecessary bit of clothing onto society?   I think it was to create suffering in the lives of all!

Sure, in the 1500s when people only bathed once a year, maybe hygiene demanded the wearing of underwear…I mean, you would definitely want to keep as much dirt and filth and such from getting all “up in your grill” as possible, but in the modern era it seems a bit illogical.  We rid society of corsets and codpieces…why not rid it of boxers and briefs?

Do not misunderstand…my intention is not to inspire you all to pile up your panties and burn them in the streets…it is just something to think about.  We have a lot of stuff that society tells us we need for no real reason.   Then again, if George Carlin does not wear underwear…why should we?

On a completely unrelated note, I am off to San Diego for a week…so I will “see” you all when I return.

Quote of the Day:

“Semper ubi sub ubi”

On Happy Violence…

Hello loyal fans. Let me give a big “huzzah” to the researchers at the UCLA School of Public Health! They have been checking out PG-13 rated films and, according to the article, the vast majority of these films are filled with what they have come to call “Happy Violence”… As defined in the article, Happy Violence is violence from which the consequences are never seen. George Gerbner defined it as violence which is “cool, swift, and painless”. I think it is impossible not to agree that, in general, our entertainment is literally full of Happy violence. Apparently, nearly 90% of PG-13 films contain this so called Happy Violence.

I think this study explains a great deal about the poor decisions being made by adolescents (and many adults). Interestingly, I do not usually ascribe to theories which promote the notion of media unduly influencing the decisions of rational humans. What I have come to realize, however, is that most Americans are simply not rational humans. Fundamentally, our nation is one of undereducated, irrational, unthinking buffoons who rarely put more than a moments thought into anything they do. In a world where television is perceived as reality by so many adults, I can only assume that they are simply too stupid to realize the difference. If that is the case, I can only assume that the children of these idiots are, in fact, likely to believe that violence (and their actions in general) do, in fact, have no consequences. It explains so much. When the American empire falls, we will know the cause! Television.

Quote of the Day:

“One of television’s great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs.” – Alfred Hitchcock

“I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.” – Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Gabriele Di Matteo Is Awesome

Hello loyal fans. While searching around online for pictures of Fidel Castro I stumbled upon a website displaying the artwork of Gabriele Di Matteo. Now, I had never heard of this artist before and, frankly, there does not seem to be much information available about his work, but he apparently is an Italian artist who did a series of paintings of famous people in the nude. You see, on yahoo images the first hit for “Castro” was this painting of Castro and Nixon meeting in the nude (edited for your protection):

Due to my inquisitive mind I decided to check the link out. I was brought to a website with many different paintings of the same style. It is actually some fascinating/amazing work. The images are hosted on www.neen.org, but it requires that you input an e-mail address for access so I do not know what lies there. I do know that the “Naked Humanity” page is available without providing an e-mail address.

My thirst for knowledge grew as I tried to discover more about this man. To the best of my knowledge, the works are a part of a series entitled “History Stripped Bare” which Matteo produced between 1999 and 2005. NYU seems to have the most intellectually provocative of the pieces on their website. It does not list the title of the piece, but it depicts the Kennedy Assassination. As a student of history I recognize the impact this moment in history had on millions of people. I feel no overwhelming emotion regarding the incident myself, as I did not live through it, but I wonder how seeing this would impact people who did live through the event. If anyone knows art, or has access to information about Gabriele Di Matteo, I would really appreciate anything you can tell me.

Quote of the Day:

“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” – King James Version of the Bible, Genesis 2:25

Dinosaur Comics Are Awesome

Hello loyal fans. While perusing the web a few weeks ago I came across one of the best things Canada has ever produced (aside from maple syrup, and Michael Moore’s early film Canadian Bacon) [if you can not love a movie where the U.S. is in a Cold War with Canada you have no soul]). That thing is Dinosaur Comics!

The artist, Ryan North, creates a new comic pretty much every day, and that is not very surprising given the simplicity of the product. The frames themselves never really change, they are simply pulled from a catalog of different options. What does change is the satire of industrial society which he brilliantly espouses.

This may be my favorite so far: Hip Hop Mozart!

If you are the computer nerdy time you will probably like this one: Codes

You will notice that I have added the link to my Blogroll, so if you ever lose the wonderful world of Dinosaur Comics you know where to find it.

Quote of the Day:

“Okay so in this new religion you should be nice to each other because that’s nice. And you can do whatever you want as long as there is informed consent between all parties involved. And everyone gets bikes. I will say that if you join my religion then you get a new bike.” – T-Rex, Dinosaur Comics

On Personification…

Hello loyal fans. I checked out The Simpsons movie a few days ago with some friends; it was most satisfactory. If you are a fan of The Simpsons you will, no doubt, love it as there were a lot of great references back to some of the great past TV episodes. If you are not a big fan of The Simpsons, you will still have a good time.

But, to the point of my entry for today: personification. Do not misunderstand, I appreciate some personification now and again…who among us does not? While at the film, however, it was pointed out to me that nearly every time a dog appears in film it is personified. Think about it…the dog comes around the corner, sees somebody making out on a couch, tilts its head, raises its eyebrows and makes some sort of “rwrrr?” noise…it never fails! The dog is running and almost falls off a cliff…it raises its eyebrows and says “rwrrr”… The dog’s master burns himself down below while cooking naked…the dog tips its head, raises its eyebrows and makes that same annoying “rwrrr” noise.

Now, I have known a lot of dogs and I have never known a dog which would raise its eyebrows and proclaim “rwrrr” at the appropriate moment. No, dogs definitely do not do that. Dogs chase tennis balls, drool, and wear sunglasses on their tails.

Shame on the film industry for degrading the noble canine in this manner. This is, as pointed out by my esteemed associate, the most stupid and annoying trend in modern film making. Hopefully it will go away just as other annoying film trends of the past have done. Rarely do we see The Matrix style camera effects which were all the rage for a few years; gone are the days of crazy dance sequences performed by body doubles (see Flashdance); eventually, our fascination with Scream style films has waned and no longer do we see hundreds of kids in ghost masks every Halloween; the annoying shaky camera a la The Blair Witch Project has disappeared all together. Hopefully, the dog thing will go the way of these other annoying movie gimmicks.

Because of my outrage over this idiocy, despite my love for the cartoon version of Underdog, I will not be seeing the upcoming film of the same name. Of course, the fact that the film looks to be absolute drivel may have influenced my decision as well…

Quote of the Day:

“Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you’re coming home his face might burn up.” – Jack Handy

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx